Body Language While Interviewing: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly — Part 2

This is Part 2 of two articles contributed by Alexandra Sleator, Founder of Coaching for Inspiration and Ivy Exec Mentor. This pair of articles deals with the non-verbal challenges of interviews.   Hopefully they will provide you with food for thought about how to effectively engage your interviewers during interviews.  The first article addressed the importance of maintaining eye contact, smiling and shaking hands confidently. This second article addresses several body language pitfalls that can derail an interview and dash your hopes for an offer.

So , what happens when we don’t make eye contact, and/or don’t smile, and/or don’t shake hands appropriately?

1. Coming across as dishonest: When you avoid making eye contact with someone, you can come across as insincere. This is because eye contact is viewed as a mark of honesty. Consider the implications of coming across as dishonest as you share your work achievements.  But it’s not just the eyes that can sabotage your image… imagine talking to someone who is covering their mouth while they speak. Or, rubbing their nose. Or, fiddling their ear lobes. Or, crossing their arms. All of the above are universal signs of dishonesty which others note and understand subconsciously. We tend to believe what we see, more than what we hear.

Your takeaways?  Maintain eye contact and make sure your arms remain uncrossed for the duration of the interview. Keep your hands visible and apart – don’t steeple or intertwine your fingers. Use gestures to make your points, but keep them small and limited to a few.

2. Coming across as unfriendly:  When you don’t smile, you come across as unfriendly. So, while appearing dishonest will hurt your credibility, not smiling will damage your personal image. While work is not about making friends, it is about collaborating.  When you don’t smile, you come across as cold, disengaged, and even arrogant – in short?… not a team player. Many people hesitate to smile because they are concerned about appearing too nice, and they equate a serious demeanor with looking professional and exuding gravitas. This is an inaccurate and unhelpful misconception. A smile is that first step towards developing rapport.  When you don’t smile, you appear aloof.

3. Coming across as disrespectful: A weak or over-firm handshake can make you appear disrespectful. Historically, men shook hands when they came to meet other men, unarmed, ready to negotiate and collaborate. From that context, the handshake evolved to project both strength of character and an openness of mind. Bearing this in mind, a weak handshake can come across as submissive, while an over-firm handshake can seem over-bearing. In both cases a lack of respect — either for oneself or for the other person — is conveyed.

When you shake hands, you should show both your hands, though only one is offered to shake. And applying the right amount of pressure to display consideration is critical.

When you disregard these 3 top elements of body language in interviews, you can come across as either dishonest, unfriendly, disrespectful, or some combination of all 3.  

And more can go wrong on the body language front….

4. Coming across as anxious:  Have you ever sat across from someone who was touching their face frequently? Or, adjusting their clothes? Or, removing invisible specks from their jacket? Or, fiddling with their hair? Or, fiddling with jewelry? This “fidgeting” conveys anxiety.  Most of us will feel nervous in an interview, so showing some nerves is not uncommon.  The majority of interviewers will understand this and be forgiving. That being said, however, appearing extremely anxious is problematic because it may cause concern over how you will conduct yourself in meetings or handle presentations if you are hired.

There are numerous techniques to quell interview nerves.  My personal favorites involve breathing and managing your inner dialogue.  So,  find the right one(s) for you so your nerves don’t cripple your performance during an interview.

5. Coming across as lazy: At the other end of the spectrum, imagine someone  slouching in their chair, leaning back just a little bit too much in their seat, or resting their ankle on their opposite knee. What impression would you form if you saw such behavior? An impression of someone who is lazy? Or, bored? Or, even arrogant? Some candidates are so keen to appear relaxed during an interview they behave in a way that’s better suited for meeting with friends. When you slouch, you appear neither relaxed, nor self-confident, but inappropriate. Depending on the interviewer, “inappropriate” could mean — lazy, disengaged, unreliable, bored, untrustworthy or arrogant.

What should you do to create a positive impression? You should plant both feet firmly on the floor – even if it means lowering the chair!   You should sit up straight, and to show interest, you can even lean slightly forward – don’t draw back.

6. Coming across as needy:  Last, but not least, of the body language pitfalls is jiggling your foot. This one makes you look more than anxious — it makes you look needy. The same holds true if you lean too close to the interviewer, or you lean too far forward across the table.  This body language conveys that you are desperate for the job and you lack self-confidence.

I am mindful that this long list of body language pitfalls can be rather intimidating. You should practice with someone before your interview, asking them to be rather hard on you in the role play session so the experience feels more “real.” When you are reasonably and realistically uncomfortable, your interview foibles will surface. “Forewarned is forearmed,” so some practice under pressure will help you be mindful of your body language while interviewing and  better able to master them in a real interview situation.