Working With A Boss Younger Than You

It can be a humbling moment: the day you meet your boss and he’s young enough to be your child.

The same level of discomfort prevails for the boss when he meets his employees who may be a full generation older than he is. With an increasingly diverse workplace, understanding how to connect across generational differences can be critical. Recognizing that the discomfort may be felt by both parties can help to begin developing empathy and respect for each other.

Learn About Each Other

For the Older Employee:

A young boss might have arrived at his advanced position because of a series of impressive accomplishments.

In spite of this, he may feel uncomfortable about his relative youth and fear rejection from his older team. To bridge this gap and set everyone at ease, it may help to take some one-on-one time with your young boss to learn about his path to his role. You can even acknowledge his youth as a plus—as opposed to as a negative.

For example, try engaging him by saying: It’s incredibly impressive to see someone advance so quickly in this industry. Tell me a bit more about your road to this role, I’m sure you have a lot of interesting insights to share.

However, it will ultimately be destructive to remind him of your age difference as a negative: When we first started working with this client—well, that was probably before you were even born! Keep in mind that even casual conversations where you raise his age as a negative could be alienating. For example: Ted Danson will always be Sam from Cheers to me—but you’ve probably never even seen that show, have you?

For the Younger Boss:

You too should try and engage your older employee.

Realize that your seeking his advice will go a long way toward showing him that you value his years of experience. Also, whenever possible, seek common ground. Simply sharing a goal at work can be enough to unite your interest and provide a focus for you both beyond your respective ages.

For Both:

Learn about yourself and your own hang-ups.

Why does having a younger boss threaten you? Are you afraid of being rendered obsolete? Why does working with an older employee frustrate you? Are you afraid that other workers will feel that you are inexperienced? Understanding your own issues will help you to overcome them and not take them out on each other.

Avoid Giving Unsolicited Advice

For the Older Employee:

You may have decades of experience in the industry by the time a younger boss arrives on the scene.

By being didactic and by attempting to overcorrect this younger boss, you could tap directly into the types of lecturing behaviors that will rankle him and cause him to avoid you permanently. After all, there will be no faster path toward alienating him than taking it upon yourself to be his mentor when you have not been welcomed to do so.

Try to remember that he is in his role for a reason. Perhaps the company wants to transition out of its business-as-usual mentality. Perhaps there is an understanding of a new, disruptive technology or workflow that he brings to the table. At the end of the day, remember that having a fresh mindset in the building can ultimately help the entire company survive and grow through times of transition.

Many companies that succumb to failure do so by clinging to the past. This young boss—while perhaps not someone you find personally appealing—could end up saving your job in the long run.

For the Younger Boss:

Recognize that respect is not instantly conveyed with an impressive title: it is earned and lost every day on the job.

You cannot expect older employees to immediately follow your every instruction. Instead, appreciate that you must first prove yourself and take this as a challenge. Remember, however, that there’s no faster way to alienate an older team than by telling them how they should be doing something and how the “old” way is wrong.

If you have a new process to implement, do so in a measured way that takes the whole team into account—rather than dishing out things you think employees could be doing differently one by one. By committing yourself to implement process changes on a larger scale, it will force you to be thoughtful about the advice you give and push you to give it to all as opposed to singling out one employee.

Adapt to Unfamiliar Communication Styles

For Both:

A younger boss may feel comfortable texting his employees while they are off-the-clock—a notion that may annoy some and even cause unintended stress.

An older employee may feel it necessary to schedule meetings where an email could suffice. Come together to discuss your respective communication comfort zones.

A young boss may find that a single phone call can solve a problem that takes dozens of texts to sort through and avert certain misunderstandings. An older employee may learn that an email sent at midnight does not require a response until the next day and is not meant to be disruptive to his personal time.

Open, face-to-face communication can put the relationship on the right step toward long-term understanding