Younger Boss? Here’s How to Deal

So, you’ve got a new boss, huh? They’re fresh-faced, eager and young enough to be your kid.

Sit down and take a deep breath.

While such situations are frustrating, they’re not entirely uncommon. Younger professionals do indeed successfully manage older ones all the time. As a former “younger boss” I can assure you: The discomfort goes both ways.

But I also know from experience that the awkwardness can pass quickly if both people do their part to reframe their thinking.

If you’re currently on the “older” side of the equation, working for a younger boss, here are a few things you can do to make life a little easier on yourself and the kid person you work for.

Acknowledge his or her strengths and talents

It’s easy to write the youngster off as less experienced and thus, less qualified to do the job. But challenge yourself to look for his or her strengths and talents. Keep an open mind: Just because they’re younger, doesn’t mean they don’t have valuable experience. Your organization has obviously determined that this person has what it takes—so there must be something special there. Look for it.

Avoid stereotyping

Every generation looks at the younger one with a certain amount of skepticism: They’re entitled; they’re lazy; they have it so much easier than we did. Be mindful of your own biases and set aside preconceived notions. Judge this person as an individual—not a representative of their age group. (I’m sure you’d like them to do the same for you.)

This is actually much harder than it sounds due to a psychological phenomenon called “Confirmation Bias.” Basically, once your brain has established a belief, it starts looking for ways to confirm that it’s true. Subconsciously, you want to believe, so any hint that the younger boss matches your preconceived generational stereotypes will set off alarm bells in your mind that scream, “See! I told you so!” Don’t listen. Give your younger boss the benefit of the doubt.

Also read: How to Handle a Difficult Colleague

Don’t call undue attention to the age gap

Look, the age gap is probably evident. If you’ve noticed it, your boss has too. Calling attention to it will only make everyone feel more awkward. Your boss doesn’t want to defend his or her experience or justify their position. You might think joking about it helps ease the tension, but it usually only increases it.

Steer clear of phrases like:

• You’re not old enough to remember this…
• In my day…
• You’re young enough to be my son (or daughter)

These kinds of statements can sound condescending, even if you don’t mean them that way, and they put an unnecessary spotlight on the issue.

Don’t compete; collaborate

Depending on your own career aspirations, you may be feeling a little miffed that you’re not sitting in the manager’s seat. It can be tempting to compare your own background to your younger boss’s and feel a competitive desire to mark your territory or prove you’re the one who really deserves the leadership role.

Don’t give in to this temptation! Accept the circumstances. Don’t hold a grudge against your younger boss’s achievement. Leverage your age and experience to help both you and your boss succeed as a team. Position yourself as an ally, not an adversary.

Also read: Strategic Self-Promotion: At Work + In Your Job Search

Respect his or her authority

Finally, no matter how you feel, remember that this person is your workplace superior. His or her authority is legitimate and, as a professional, you will best serve yourself by showing respect and demonstrating your ability to adapt, even when it’s a little uncomfortable at first.